Wednesday, October 14, 2009

oh yes, my blog, where i can vent to. how could i forget?

This has been one of the strangest, longest months of my life.

I'm almost done with school, ready to Graduate, and suddenly my motivation is just GONE. I'll get it back, I just need better practice getting back in the swing of it. I think I would be much more interested if I actually enjoyed the class...but this level of accounting is focused on things I never actually want to be a part of, and the professor tests you on things that are even more difficult than you find on the CPA exam, and I have absolutely no idea when that would be necessary to know. Whew. venting. ha.

Post graduation is stressing me out. The idea of starting out in a new town terrifies me. I know I can do it, but it doesn't mean it isn't a HUGE step. I think it'd be easier if I had ANY idea where that new place will be. I go where the work takes me.

Aside from school, things were going great...but now my family is going through probably one of the toughest times we've had. I'm constantly on edge, and every time my phone rings with a call from home I'm shaking I'm so nervous about what news I'll hear from the other end. This whole situation has made me really appreciate good people. The kind of people who ask questions and genuinely care about your answer. The kind of people who are actually excited when plans fall into place and you get to spend time together. The kind of people who don't mind sacrificing a little of themselves to be there for you. I've had a serious lack of that kind of friendship until recently, and I'm working so hard to be that kind of person myself. I want my friends and family to know that I care SO much about them, and I would do anything for them. There are also some new people in my life that I am so thankful for. They've shown me that it is possible to reunite and spend some time getting to know someone from square one, and watch that blossom into a genuine friendship, not based on the superficial, but based on real conversation. I miss that. I've had far too many deceitful people in my world that it's nice to see people that care about people for who they are.

It's weird to see how things in my life are changing and how rapidly that change is happening. Now it's time for me to actually buckle down and study (you know, that focus I was talking about earlier). But just so you know, if you happen to notice me texting calling or just talking to you more in general, its because you're one of the ones I've decided is worth fighting to keep in my life :-) (and if I'm not calling or texting, it doesn't mean you're not worth it, yikes)

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